There are a million things I don't want to remember
I post, edit and delete, post edit and delete - what do I do that for
Why should I care about who looks at anything I post?
Why should I care if it's you
I don't know how to get the hell on with this heaviness in my brain
I don't know what to say to God or what to give thanks for

Because I know I am not thankful
Deep down I am hurting with this residue I am left with
I feel so tired of contradicting myself, of being this irrational being I am
Here I am so afraid of loving all over again
Why did you not tell me, why did you not say anything
How could you keep me guessing
Wasn't it your responsibility
Sorry yes but sorry no
Sorry no, no no no.

I am forced to take sorry yes
I want to slap you
I want to hurt myself really bad, all over again
help, no not yours