okay.

Realised I have become more unforgiving and I believe it to be out of selfishness, for my own good.

I wonder if I should communicate with people more about these pent up feelings I have towards them.
But then I'm just gonna melt into a cup of slushie blue liquid and be that way.

I like the way people forget about me.
That way I won't have to remember them or think about their welfare all the time.
Maybe that's how my mother feels. That she can finally wash her hands off me and lead her own life.
I should stop breaking the stream of consciousness in my writing.

Anyway I'm finally done with my Story World and I actually want to go on the adventure my hero's so privileged to embark on! I should add more characters besides firebreathers, blackbirds and a pack of cards for townspeople though. I could play more with creating weird ass stuff with cool epic powers.
I find it so cute that we've all felt so embarrassed about our work in front of others but when we're alone, we're like fuck yeah.

What kind of word is 'cute' anyway. Cute should be stripped from the dictionary.
That'd be cute.

I haven't been in the best emotional state but I'm getting there.
I have been living with the fact that no one owes me everything, so I try to survive alone. On my ability and through both physical and mental strength.
But I guess You back me up whenever I need you. I suck, I know.
And I realise that not only have I been worshipping the wrong one, I've found out that You're the only one who's worth it.
Took me quite awhile to realise it.
And there You go, being Your lovely faithful self that I adore so, so much.
And I just long to be like You. To give the way You gave.

Poetry slam is coming up on the 12th of August.
They want more vibrant, positive poems.
I think I could churn out a few.
But I'll always end on a melancholy note.
I don't know, it feels more real that way. And shocking.

Don't think I've had enough of the thrill but I won't have any for now.
I think I hate you.
You can judge me now.

love
sabertoothriena
(ps: zanymon elsiechanzie bladiadi hanahey kenzo josie natzor you guys have my heart<3)