What stops me from writing

...is thinking my ideas aren't good enough. It's not even in terms of poetry or playwriting - it can just be along the lines of what makes a substantial blog post.

So I thought I'd just write about the problem, and how I'm solving it even as I type.

Technology is neutral, but as a writer, I often abuse it. Seems like I've gotten 'too lazy' when it comes to taking down notes in a notebook. (...even though I got myself a red Moleskine over Easter, which I'm starting to simply use as an accessory than to properly 'catch' the ideas running through my head...) And this so-called laziness stops me from writing.

Now that I'm jetlagged, I quite like getting up this early in the mornings to check out what the world is up to. When you're up early, you also get to sneak yourself a piece of chocolate, make yourself a nice cup of tea and simply... walk around the house naked. I like to think I walk around with my Moleskine and a pen in hand while in my birthday suit, but that doesn't happen. The point is, the day is fresh for you to seize. Your thoughts are the clearest at six in the morning: you've reached the bliss point. You've had enough yet not enough sleep. You've slept off the worry of life's hardest questions from the night before and because your mind is still stirring to try to focus on what to do for the day, your mind is subconsciously being thrown into that precious slot of time where creating becomes natural and even fun to do.

Here, you are communicating with your state of mind. For this moment, you actually believe in yourself (believe it or not). This turns into daydreaming without emotional baggage. And yknow, I like to think that daydreaming is dreaming too. How you incorporate that into your creative work... is completely up to you. I also envy people who write drunk - I don't do that because I never find myself in a pen-and-paper situation when intoxicated. I'm spread out next to the toilet bowl instead, usually, well, de-toxicating.

Also, envy towards how others are doing (lol or call it inspiration lol) can actually be a pretty good motivator. I'm not a jealous person when it comes to how good my poetry is. I have my own standards, and am still learning what makes it good, but at the same time, learning what makes it better. But sitting down in front of the laptop stalking people you admire (yes, healthy admiration) seriously makes you question what you're doing with the set of skills you've paid international student fees to hone - and can sometimes distract you from getting to work if you're a jack of all trades and master of absolutely none like me - but hey, remember that slice of belief you've just cut for yourself at six in the morning? All is possible now.

BUT (these uppercased letters have grabbed your attention now innit) allow yourself to be more fascinated by the process than who you're going to become in society or in this case, whether you're going to be a successful writer in the end. You're not at the end yet. Stop competing with what hasn't happened yet you arrogant shit, because there's nothing to compete with. Be in the now. I find that Buddha Doodles helps a lot when you can't be gentle with your own mind.

Something else that stops me from writing is when I don't have enough food available next to me. Have fruit and nut, or food that doesn't give you unnecessary and unwanted sugar spikes that leave you feeling groggy after. Have green tea, but not enough to make you pee every fifteen minutes. Or write on the toilet. Stay away from bananas. You may have a dollop of peanut butter though, on an oatcake. Cigarettes may sometimes contribute to creating in the wee hours of the morning, but in the long run, you don't want to experience a heart attack in the moment you get an amazing idea one fine day. Then again, I may try writing drunk once. It's fun to experiment with different states of mind, and different times as well. Six o'clock just works for me. But while I'm in Singapore and drugs aren't as available... ... I'm kidding.

...or am I?

Lastly, it's good to write what you know, but to also find out what you don't. Then write about that as well. Process, process, process.

Here's to healthy writing!
Bye allllll!