"I have many things to do, I'll complete them today."
A lie I tell myself whenever I am anxious and kanchiong to finish my tasks. In the end, I do so little.
Though I did manage to finish my workload yesterday. I like how I have the freedom to procrastinate here, and that I am allowed to take my time to finish something till I think it's perfect.
I have been stressed about this personal statement I must submit soon, which is always at the back of my mind when I come to work.
Internship will end soon and I will miss this office and the people when I am gone.
Ken says these people like me so much, it is true, and I like them a lot too.
I started to miss this whole place when walking on that rocky dirt path towards Song Lin Building this morning.
I wanted to take a picture but my camera is scratched.
I wanted to rub my face in the dirt and cry.
Today I am emotional, but composed.
Not that being composed has done anything for me.
Life isn't professional.
I've tried to be, but I haven't lived ever since.
Dear you,
I'm sorry I tell you that the answer to life is God.
I'm sorry I cannot show you the answer clearly, because I can't even tell you how real this God has been to me.
I love you very much and because I do, I want you to meet Him.
But I know it is my answer, and you seek a "different answer".
I will be a friend and be by your side.
I'm sorry I tried to fix you, I know I can't. I wish I had words that could persuade you to open your heart, but I must realise that sometimes opening can be painful after we've been closed for so long.
And I have no reason to tell you not to hurt, or to direct how you should feel.
I cannot fill this void that has been set in your heart. Whether it was set or formed, I don't know.
You do not act, and I thank you for simply being you.
Liars can be honest too.
When they are, they are very, very beautiful.
Lord will you hear this cry. It is a soft one, but it is a cry.
