you keep me without chains

something always brings me back to you,
it never takes too long


i see that you have become my religion


so i watched a bird peck at its feathers on a roof as my tear ducts burned
and i refreshed the page
but the net just wouldn't load for me
so i looked at my face in the screen's reflection instead
and i smiled at myself in my pain
knowing i am still loved by a higher power
knowing that if that's the case, i have everything i need in this world
knowing my forever still exists
knowing i can get through this

shit,
i see that you have become my religion;
i shall denounce you.
although i long so much for one more unspoken moment
just to burn up in your atmosphere
even watching you laugh without knowing how much i've been hurting inside
(to drown in your love and not feel your rain)
and i will play along as i always have
i am good at playing along
but once i fail,
i will let go of everything i/you have ever said to me/you
erase/replace
and start over again.
i hate how weak you've made me
yet you make me strong
what the hell are you.