Children

Aloha,
I need a good cry.

I saw myself live in those ashes of grey and teeth clenching orange, saw myself live in those film coated fingers.
Licked the air when I thought of you.
Why can't I be honest?
Who cares about how shocked you are?

And it hit me like a beautiful wave; I can achieve this alone.
I don't need anybody if you don't need me.

What is a family.
What is the point of telling you I did well.
What is the point of saying anything at all.
What are parents.
Why do we have ears.

I am independent, yes.
Once I saw myself searching ever so tirelessly but now the batteries of my heart's torch are exhausted, so please don't blame me.
Because I blame you.

God, can I put my life on hold?
--

School was heaven because I could get out of here.
This roof over my head where I've felt so out of place, so alone.
I will listen to my children.
I will practice compromise.
I will give them a way out.