I don't understand the friendliness that comes back to me, unreciprocated and empty, as if it were making a mockery of the fact that I have hands which hold, which cherish, which have the ability to give warmth.
Why do the things that I hold close to my heart never fail to be fleeting- what, am I scary?
Do I show my affection too intensely, no you cannot say I don't because it is in every good thought that comes to mind when I give you words and as far as I know, words have built you up and broken you down so I know, I know.
It's something I can't cry about because I refuse to be torn down by a mere friend.
Then again 'mere' is not a word I meant to use, because you are so much more than that to me and I feel hurt because you can't see that.
You don't see me.
And I can't talk about it because I'm just gonna be called sensitive because of the amount of fucks I have given.
Is this modern day loyalty or what.
Everything has been coming at me and drilling holes in my vision so I feel like I'm a fly really, like I have a thousand TVs in front of me and I'm like a spectator, out of my body kinda experience where I see people do things to show me love, do things to hurt me, I see it all and although I'm supposed to be untouched, I am shaken by all these experiences.
If Bad were a pet, I'd kick it in the groin and throw it in the face of that self-indulgent shithead of a lecturer.
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