On Christmas Eve, when Bridget told me to start thinking French and to accept my body for its roundness and lumps, I did.
I think it's people like Bridget who make me love life and myself more.
Thanks sexypeach.
This morning's sermon was about conflict.
About how conflict and fights start, because of jealousy and 'desires that battle within us'.
And also because we don't ask God and even if we do, we ask with the wrong motives so we might enjoy them for our own benefit and not in consideration of the people around us.
Or often, we don't need these things either because they're not good for us.
Today's sermon addressed the issue of getting upset when people hurt us without reason, and that sometimes we spend time waiting and watching for justice to come.
In which there are two types of justice.
a) When we're not granted justice, we strike first instead and hurt the other party.
b) God's justice; it being restorative and the result of a situation where both sides are blessed. It always seeks to compensate where we have lack or loss.
The analogy was: Punishment to the prisoner doesn't bring healing upon the victim.
Even if there is, it is only temporary.
I think that's how we're made victims ourselves, when we focus on lack and not the revenge that God has already promised.
And all this struck me, because I have been so upset about people cutting each other's throats without reason and I couldn't seem to understand why I had to love my enemy when they are obviously out to get me.
Holy shit, I think the craziest form of love is to pray for your enemy. I find it so hard to do that it's retarded to me.
But it's just the way it goes: Tearing down of pride just so He can work through circumstances, so Love can flow, reconcile and restore.
Lately I've been pretty aggressive and reckless with the way I handle things.
Sometimes the line between being yourself and not giving in to people gets smudged, though all I really want is to be myself completely around everyone.
I don't mean to be a people pleaser but I don't want to hurt anyone with my bluntness either.
Which, of course, is ideal and can't possibly happen.
Maybe that's why I'm so bloody selective about my friends, and majority of my closest friends are tactful, which I appreciate greatly.
It's too bad how people are so thick in the head till they don't notice subtleties or how they make people feel about some of their words.
Especially when it's their subconscious speaking, "for out of the overflow heart, the mouth speaks", and you can really see through their motives.
People should buck up on faking.
Yes this is me being unforgiving again, so give me time and I'll give you back the goodness I may have thought you once had.
No comments:
Post a Comment