Rain by Norah Jones

I've been admiring plus-sized models lately.

My love for Adele has not seized either.

Anyway.

Mmmm of course I'd like you to speak to me first,
Or send me a random text in the middle of the day.
Day(s).
These days where you know I probably haven't changed as much but still don't know when I'm sad.
I guess even so, I'm sad about the same things, this sadness has become permanent hahaha
Hey, I don't mean to make myself a victim of it.
But when you deny me my right to an adventure, like the one I wish I had with you, please don't judge what my heart feels - yes and please don't take me lightly either.
So the only thing that has been saving me is that I don't see any part of you in this Character Bible assignment I have to complete by Monday.
I do see myself in Amber though.
The way she confesses and oh hahaha we shouldn't hold onto silly things
The first cut is always the deepest, eh? :)

Been wondering if I’ve been too slow at mastering certain things

Swore I’d never let a grade affect me this way but it’s all caving in now :/

Getting a C on Content Production just made me realize how I can never answer questions the way I’m asked to do. How weak my grasp of structure is. Never really knew how to answer Math questions in secondary school.. but guess I never asked.

This time I did.

Said I ‘describe too much’ and that I should just ‘go straight into it’.

Well, okay. Of course I won’t have it her way. Then I start feeling inferior to people who did so much better than me. 

But I guess it's normal. After all, I have Shanice to remind me when I'm starting to have a pity party because I'm always there to remind her as well. Mutual love yo.
Writers have so much pride. 

Mmmm writers are actually stalkers. Only more poetic and career-minded.

So even though I have so much less of you right now, I've gained such tight friendship bonds at school.

Lose some, gain some. But here, I've gained alot.

I'll always love the night we had our horror movie marathon. 

And how they taught this one hell of a clutz how to cycle.

How we sorted each other's Hogwarts houses out during Theatre meeting yesterday.

Feeling so darn appreciated when someone says Hi Sabriena/LiLing to me in school.

Made me laugh when I really really needed it. Listened when I've always needed them to.

So I guess that's why I know why God loves me.

He sees my loss and there He goes doing his thing, rescuing me the very minute I felt like I wasn't enough during worship leading, giving me church friends who welcome me back ever so warmly and being patient with my absence from church, giving me friends in school whom I am so delighted to see and  hang around with everyday.

I know I'm an open book and I know sometimes I'm sad about the same old thing all over again.

I know I get old.

But I'll be happy if you ask about me.

Or call to talk.

Or ask me if I wanna chill sometime.

Or show me that you'll always be there to fight these thoughts with me.

I sound vulnerable now but it's okay.

I've always been a child at heart and always will be. Until the day you don't want me anymore, it's only then when I'll retreat and let you swing your emotional arms at me but I won't let a single fleeting thing out of this heart of mine.

Haha and although I'll miss you, I'll know when it's time to move on.

I ended my recently finished poem with these three words:

I am healing.

Love, sabby