Penang

The current state of my toe started to piss me off as the day came to an end.
My crew was so nice to send me home in this teh-peng-filled-long-kang rain.
Just read that MSG could possibly trigger a gout attack in the midst of finishing half a bowl of korean cheese-flavoured noodles.
Die liao lor.

Life, for the past fifteen seconds, has been hard, since my mother is telling me she's going to cancel HBO and I don't really have a choice- because they watch that darn Taiwanese show everyday.
I associate this Taiwanese show with every sort of evil and brainwashing there is in the world.
I've ranted about how this show has made me distance myself from both my parents at dinner time till late, and I do not wish to fake "family time" over content like that.
Compromise must be done wisely and trust me, this programme doesn't make me any smarter, given the situations I've put myself in before.

On a light, fluffy, almost pass-the-bong note, Wongy will be back tomorrow!!!!!!
Exclamation marks!!!!!!!!
I really want to go back to Penang with Ken and perhaps friends who don't mind coming along as well.
My uncle was here the previous weekend and I told him I really want to be buried / cremated in Penang.
I have always regarded the country as my second home ever since I was a little girl, flipping my long hair obnoxiously and prancing about in my flare dresses and printed pajamas.
I was so well loved, unlike here.
Youth is when everyone clambers for attention but when in Penang, I was simply loved for who I was.
Who gave a shit about competition and being the star? No one. And I want that in a family. (Idealistic, I know.)
My favourite memories are especially when the rain falls and I'm simply passing time playing Pokemon cards with Zi Sheng, talking to Shu Han 姐姐 in her room or reading ghost stories in their home.
Then we have Cheng Beng every year (glutinous rice + my favourite ba zhang that my third aunt makes) and the usual question of "Ma, where are we going next?" and the typical response of "Aiya if you don't want to follow just stay at 'home' or go to Gurney to shop lah, keep asking!"
Ah Ma's funeral was one I'll always remember - because the whole family was there and we were sad and merry together. I burned a hole through my uncle's with a joss stick. That was funny.
And in the wee hours of the morning of Mothers' Day, I thumped up the stairs, waking my cousin up to tell her my grandmother had passed away. I forced myself to cry, because she was my grandmother and I wanted to feel an emotional attachment to her even though I was afraid of what the elderly looked like then. And we just kept silent the whole night.
I had hugged her once. I remember tearing when I saw that she kept a photograph of young me in her cabinet. I'm tearing even now. I never knew how much she loved me till then. And it impacted me very much.

I love every one of them so much even though I have been disappointed because I am too trusting a person...but I never want competition or gossip to break my mom's side of the family apart. They are precious people with a sense of humour I will always want to retain.
I honestly think they are the only reason I want to brush up on my Mandarin and Hokkien - I can't understand Singaporean Hokkien one bit at all.

I want Ken to be there with me to experience Penang.
My uncle and aunt already like him. They called him handsomeeeeeee.
I have been very sad in this relationship but I have been the happiest fool in the world.
Sierra Mulder wrote that a high school love is a smothering one.
May I be with my high school sweetheart forever?
And then there's university.
And my fleeting heart.
To fear oneself is to save the other from heartbreak.
"There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice."
I love you more than anything else in this world at this very moment right now, I'll have you know that.
I have expired for you and found it stupid. I have wanted to leave but always felt a sense of regret - yet had I gone, I would never found the same relief I anticipated at the same time.
Why do you have a hold of me?
I don't know, but you may shake hands with my right paw and kiss my gouty toe.
I love you and miss you very very much. :'(