People

I've never felt understood by most people, so when Jon texted me tonight I felt like I could give him a pen and he'd know what the themes and issues my life story would encompass. And he'd score an A for that essay. Not A+ because he isn't actually me.
I miss him. I have so much to say to him and to tell things to, and I want to listen to him more than ever, and to wait for him to tell me his crazy plans and theories, especially since he's in the army and we can't meet as often to get ramen.
He's the kind of friend I don't need to physically hug to know we're close.
Some people hug you and you hug them back, as if you're trying to push yourself into them and them into you but sometimes, in the end, you don't even know them and they don't even get you.

Tomorrow Jia will be 19. In three more days, she's going to leave for Australia.
That means I don't get to see her on Sundays for dinner with the family anymore.
I've always felt so thankful for the compassion she has and how much she strives to understand me when my family misunderstands me. I forgive the fact that she has misunderstood me, many times actually. But I love her for the fact that she makes the effort to look at me like a person, and to love me like one as well.
We're not close.
We're not like sisters or even friends.
It is a pity that there wasn't another word, because I am neither those to her but I can be comfortable yet not entirely comfortable around her. But when I'm comfortable, it's like sinking into a bean bag. A green one.

I need to stop writing about how loving someone romantically makes me feel.
I need to write something for my friends too.
I am ever blessed to have friends like Zany, Hana and Adrian.
The fact that I saw my very first shooting star with Zany and Adrian is one of the biggest blessings I could ever be bestowed. Bestowed, because that night was such a gift.
I realised that I don't give a shit if people listen. I give a shit and many shits in fact, when people understand.
That is so hard to come by.
I want to live out the next two months to come, yet I want to preserve them, always.
People are so intricately made, how could there not be a God who loves?