I finally opened the Glacier Wine that Perry got for me for my 18th birthday.
The trip to Sarawak made me the happiest with my friends and the saddest with you.
Today I don't feel like I can face you or speak to you, because these feelings have all been poured out already and there really is nothing left in me to offer you or to make you understand.
I fear that your understanding of me is shallow, and it is something that causes me great distress.
Since the day you joked about me crying about every little thing, I realised that I have been crying more.
My age is something that I am ashamed of every time I cry.
I am not only tired of the struggling, but the fact that I am made to struggle.
Why this has happened, I have no reason for it, and I have given up seeking answers when all you can ever say to me is "the only ones we are in control of are ourselves".
But you have retreated and I am advancing but always losing.
I just want to know what I'm dealing with, because my enemy is invisible and he is prowling and I am not winning this war.
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