octxymoron

Jeremy Fish's (one of my fave graphic artists and that is one intense beard) new work:

He gets his inspiration by collecting stories from his friends and people.

"The last couple years I have gotten really into the Grim Brothers. I always knew that they were the original story tellers behind a lot of the old Disney stuff or shit that they took and reworked. So I started to follow them a little deeper and got more into their stuff, and it's as classic as mythology story telling gets."

It has been a pretty nice Sunday.

Ron, Anna and Lea are in Singapore and they're all so lovable. Which means I love them very much, yes I do.

Woke up to have breakfast with everyone and Lea got to try fried white carrot cake and the usual hawker food. Then we showed Lea round the wet market.

So this fishmonger says to my brother in Mandarin "Hey! Are all three beauties from the three kingdoms yours?!"

There were four of us (Lea, Anna, my cousin then I at the back) and I couldn't believe the guts of this man.

So I shouted WALAO THREE NIA!!!

Sure, there was banter here and there, blablablahhh, laughed it off but honestly...it hurt.

I'm being petty,  yes I know.

It has always been hard for me to accept the fact that I have never been 'pretty' in the average Singaporean's eyes. 

Comments like these matter to me especially if they are my mom's. (Well, technically she's Malaysian but still.) And I wonder if she'll ever know that. I wonder if she knows that she was the very first woman I have ever loved in my whole life and what she made me feel when she tore me down.

I remember my papa's sister comparing me to my cousin over a dinner last year, announcing to the entire table that I am so much 'blacker' and saying that my cousin looks so much prettier than I do.

It is the same vibe I got from that fishmonger (skinny tiko-looking guy who sported a very lousily dyed, collapsing mohawk) and sometimes when I get comments like that, I feel like committing suicide just to punish that person.

And that amount of guilt she/he suffers will satisfy me so immensely that my bones will melt into the earth almost immediately once my coffin is laid down. And I swear my skeleton's jaw bones will smile the fuck out of shape. 

But then again, the people I love + kenzo are enough for me.

I am very grateful that people take the time and effort to get to know me and it is only my blessing that they love me back just the way I am.

I cannot ask for more, and I live for that.

Two days back, Hana and I had very intimate talk (me likey!) spread out over our favourite Starbucks egg white wrap lunch, finishing her errands and a little while more at the Hilltop cafe.

And I am so sure that I love her as a friend because she is so darn true to her emotions and what she stands for.

I can't even-

Nobody should take her affection + concern + anything about her for granted.

Anyway, I have been tired of doing things that compromise my happiness so here's a TO DO list I wrote on the back of a receipt the other day on the MRT:

Another * I'd like to add: Detach myself from material things or apply hot glue onto my earlobes every time I want to wear earrings (I realise I get very upset upon losing my accessories and knick knacks which I harp on which proceeds to me being a grouch and that just gives me wrinkles so all in all, it is BAD)

The month of October is coming to an end and this month I went clubbing for the first time and this is also me puking all over the pavement. Kelvin was kind enough to tie my hair and to take pictures with my phone and Lynette as I suffered in occasional silence (puking causes one to make sounds, uh huh) 

Bleeaaaaggghhhh

I also won second for CASS Factor *inserts modest mouse face* and I seriously wouldn't have won without all my friends and mama who voted for me! So many people cheered for me and I was so overwhelmed. I didn't get anyone to record the performance but I will never forget how much fun I had onstage. And backstage. On Whatsapp. Hehehe

Hey there Hana banana

This is Josieee *gemmy bling bling* 

Kel was the emcee for the night!

Theatre friends ohhhh me babies ohhhh <3

We like being dramatically awkward.

Danial and I singing When You Say Nothing At All + Chariot at a Toastmasters Event @ Ngee Ann

Random: Adi + zanymon filming an inanimate object

Whatsapp has been such a joy. And this boy agrees!

wheeeeeee

Kenzo and I went to watch Cara at her concert.
We had loads of fun. I can't even describe it.
ANYWHERE IS FUN AS LONG AS I HAVE MY GALLYPALLY- this I type as loud as I could yell.
And what were you thinking, you Caucasian passerby- of course we were going to carry on!
I am mighty mighty lucky.

Dear love:

This thing I'm in, this thing.

It has been the most unbelievable thing as dreaming goes.

What is it, I can never put a name to it.

A carton of milk pressed cold against a stomach stricken with gastric, a shimmering crystal cave with a shade that comforts and hides me from blinding, scorching sun (that makes me burn and hurt all over), an affection that lasts, a love that lasts, a sunny side up, a checkered flannel shirt waving in the cold wind and with that breeze your scent wafts to greet my senses and you make my head reel- what is this I don't know but it has my heart and I surrender.

October has been cute and have a great Halloween, patient reader of thy long ass post!