hold my heart

dear babe
why'd you gotta go and let me wait this long
leave me wondering when you'll ever come around
if you're upset why don't you tell me
if you feel the same way why don't you hold me
why do you stop there
have you displaced your trust in me
that i will not be loyal or faithful?
or have you read my childlike disposition wrongly
why'd you gotta go and make my jealousy eat at me this way
it devours me
and makes me cry on every bus ride
everywhere i go i carry your heart with me
as i sculpted the cold damp sand with my fingers
i was alone
just for a little while
and i felt at ease, i've always been so alone
but i couldn't ignore the fact that i wish i wasn't this comfortable with being lonely all the time
then i drifted off to thoughts of you
the music the sand the sunset the sound of the waves and all their laughter
wishing you were lying down next to me
seeing what i'm seeing
feeling what i'm feeling
knowing that i'll always want you around me
to be experiencing all this beauty the way i do
the best things for you darling
all the best things that make me happy- i want them to make you happy
and content is all i'll ever be once that happens
even if it's a tiny moment
(my tiny moments with you mean so much to me
i could go on about them for days and days
but incoherence has never been much of a help)
don't watch the fireworks themselves; they are temporary
but keep still and watch how they illuminate the clouds with their colours
every boom every splash of that distinct vibrant red on white vapour canvas
every boom every splash of that sight is what i want to keep for you
i know you don't throw things away easily
but why do you show me that you do
leave me hanging, leave me thinking i'm just another play toy for a boy
yes a boy but you have never been ordinary to me,
you have so much more purpose in my life than the others placed in it
why'd you gotta go and make me feel this way
why'd you gotta go and make me give up then turn around
take one more wrong turn cos it's a long drive back to vegas skies
vegas never held my heart anyway.
so if this makes you happy i will wait all over again
for once i am not relieved that this isn't the end of the world
because that call would've held so much more than an 'accident' and a 'sorry' and a 'bye'