Food has been such a comfort, besides all the very nice friends I have around me:)
I will not be surprised if I see the meter on the weighing scale pop and point to a numeral larger compared to the last time I weighed myself.
Ok which I just checked - and it did not pop! :D
Yes I am rejoicing and it's cool that I have maintained my weight bbbut my pulse rate is higher than usual and I've been feeling fatigue creep up on me - even after 8 hours of sleep.
And this just proves that stress has been taking its toll on me (how ironic that it has benefits)!!! D:
I haven't had the mood to blog because my posts have been so negative lately.
But I was born to be a ranter and a faithful ranter I shall remain!
So here goes the long-awaited self refection (that is to satisfy me, at least):
I've been taught to tolerate but to also stand up for myself if the situation needs salvage from proud evil people who do not listen.
I have also seen how God gives so much underserving grace to the humble and that He opposes the proud. Yes which has really hurt the person.
And how:
+ we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously
+ we should always learn to trust and that although you think self-confidence has been long gone, it's still in there
+ inferiority really does nothing but tear yourself down
+ listening is a good and noble thing to do
+ don't change yourself for anybody
+ you gotta read the Bible and hide His word in His heart if you want to abide in Him.
+ self-blame can be overcome when you look to the cross.
+ God is worthy of all praise in every season, through the good times and bad.
I haven't been successful at making good music recently but all that will change very soon.
On the other hand, I have been writing some poetry that people actually appreciate and relate to!
This was what I presented at the Poetry Slam Revolt last Friday on the 21st of January:
Love could chase me
I'd be easy to entertain or even lure
But put me through heartache and guessing
That, I am not sure if I can endure
Love should chase me
Cos my liking for you is not fleeting;
Not like your mother on menopause
So will you recognize this as a cheesy line
To make you work for a cause?
Because I'm stuck here in limbo
In roads and homes and places and scents
In faith and time and food and friends
I'm swirling around in a boiling sea of grey,
And yknow funny thing is, my heart has been made your prey
I collapse a little inside when you speak her name
Or build up walls to force me to play your games
If you thought that trust was easy to learn
To find mine - my own insecurities I had to burn!
You could chase me
Cos I'd make you dreamcatchers, catch you parakeets and more
When you have your storms, I'll sing them lullabies
Though you take me for granted all the damn time
And I am your equivalent to making your heart grow sore
And the only one who will be there for you when you run out of Dota gold and grow quite poor
I will love you through the black and blue
And misery of every hue
And I know that I terrify you
I also know I blow your mind and make you think twice through
Love should chase me
Yes indeed, as Oscar Wilde has put it
“The very essence of romance is uncertainty” –
But baby, it’s killing me!
It's wrapped me round its fingers
Bruised and cut sore
And the crazy thing is:
I really want more
You should chase me
- Not because you're the guy
But because you should prove to me that I'm worth the try
And that’s why you should chase me, sucker.
We won first place, by the way! *wink*
So to end off, this is what I did before I went to bed the other night.
I was quite amused and went to sleep with a huge cheesy grin.
mm p/s: i don't believe in being head over heels in love with a person if he/she doesn't feel the same way about you.
so guard your heart k
:3
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