snails

I just got back from Paris yesterday, and I've been out in the garden snail hunting with some little girls aged four to nine today! This post features snails, us in Paris, pictures from snail hunting this afternoon and other thoughts.

It's the Easter holidays now, and to have spent it in Paris with my bunch of friends from church back home tops it all for me (well, for the time being, since I've also got a play to write and a poetry collection to thread together by the end of April).
It's been the funniest, fattest, most eventful weekend ever and I still can't wrap my head round it all.
Meeting someone new was supposed to be the highlight of March, and I'm not saying it isn't, but friendships seem to have been proving themselves and building me up even more throughout the entire month.
We ate way too much in Paris. (My face is the roundest it's ever been. I'm a human ball.)
Paris was gorgeous, but the company was even better. This weekend in Paris shed light on the type of friends I want to grow up with, want to spend more time with, want to pray and laugh over silly shit with. We'd sit around after dinner just laughing over cheese and wine. Tired, but feeling so thankful and so blessed.
Maybe that's what I like about them - we verbalise what we feel, we declare and thank God where appropriate, and we spoke about problems within our cell group and the church in general.
It didn't feel like church camp, which was surprisingly different even as the days led up to Easter morning, though making time to find a church where we could attend an English-speaking Easter service made all the difference.

What David said really resonates with me: "Each of us approaches God on our terms."
That's true isn't it? Why do we force people to come to God when they aren't ready? Then again, the potential danger lies in not being able to come to God with our fears and joys at all. But with this bunch... it wasn't the case.
I've always hated having to be accountable to someone. And now, Kristen and I have decided to be each other's accountability partners. Because she was gentle in the way she asked me questions to provoke more thought and reflection in regards to my spiritual life, but she was also firm about it.
We want to cut out what does not bring value to our lives. We want to realign many things to God's will, because mistakes have been made. And they were necessary, but they also hurt us in return.
I've been reflecting on the fact that when God tells us to obey, it's always for a greater reason.
Especially when it comes to relationships. I focus so much on the lover side of me until I forget that I was always me, myself and I to start with. And sometimes I fail to be honest with myself, to face what I really want. When I settle for less, I don't even know it, until something happens along the way.

It's not so much of a trust issue; it's knowing what you want.

But what God wants for us is even better, and even though I'm personally not in the greatest place in my spiritual walk right now, my heart can't help but admit that the answer is Yes.
I remember when someone said, "God meets us in our character." I guess the next thing to deal with is knowing my character does not intimidate God, and that if I really want Him to come and change my heart, I only have to ask in surrender, and He will see the deed through in His own time.

But I am so impatient.
BUT, there are only so many 'but's I can write and say in a day. And Kristen knows that I don't need any of those, and neither does she. Accountability partnership 101 is going to be the start of a long and arduous journey... but we want to get there in the end.
We can't live in the Shire forever.

I couldn't ask for more. Our accommodation was expensive - but it was worth it. There was something about living in someone's actual home (they went away for the weekend) that was interesting. We started living like them. I thought we'd utilise their stereo system, so we sat and listened to some of their CDs from the amazing music range they had on the shelves. We had begun to familiarise ourselves with where we placed things in the house; things which weren't ours and things that were. Things that told us something about the family, and things that told us something about our own lives and how we live back home. How and where things were placed. How colours and lighting affected our moods. How loud we'd speak in the morning and how much noise we could make (I laughed way too loud). The kind of people through the books they kept: Kate was some sort of hippie and very learned in whatever she does / their son loves manga, and reads good manga. 

It was an amazing experience ......even though five of us were terrified of this little porcelain figurine in the shower. (John didn't understand what there was to be afraid about. David jokingly blamed the supposed spirit for taking his iPhone 4 cable. Yung made me stand outside the bathroom to wait for him to finish brushing his teeth. I said it wasn't scary. Then when I had to shower... I was terrified. Kristen and Michelle felt like they were being watched. I don't know what Lime felt but yeah, he was scared.) 

On the last day, I told Kristen that I couldn't stay in Paris for long. To me, the streets stretched on and on, as if they had no end. It wasn't the walking, but more of the fact that I couldn't see an end destination. According to Kristen, the buildings are six storeys tall, and the pavements aren't very wide, so I felt like I was walled in on either side. 

But I'll never forget what Paris looked like in the sun. 

And this is this afternoon's snail hunting with kiddos: 

I was standing outside enjoying the "fresh air" when three of them came up to the front door, asking if we were the kind of people who would "come out with knives". 

I told them we weren't bad people, and they started showing me the snails they collected in a food bucket.

Pa called halfway to FaceTime, and after I hung up, one of them knocked again to show me that a Mummy and Daddy snail had made a mini one. They made three babies soon after.

I thought this was a pretty rare moment for anyone living on the Green, so I started taking pictures (being very careful not to get snapshots of their faces) as they showed me where to get snails - all from the mud in a row of weeds growing beside our house. 

When J was here, we walked past them and saw that they had built their own play dens amongst twigs by the shortcut leading up to where I live. But they'd get thrashed every now and then by the boys who'd stand around smoking weed and throwing condoms all over the road. 

We sneakily plucked bluebells from the neighbour's garden and sprinkled them all over in the bucket. Apparently the snails ate them up half an hour later. One of the girls said it was "healthy" for them. 

And as we sat outside the front door munching on some leftover cookies I found, we had little conversations here and there that made me pick up on how kids made sense of addiction, how things people say or do make them feel, how they respond and react, and how they simply... play. 

Me: "Smoking's really bad." 

"My uncle and auntie do it all the time. My mummy smokes every one hour." 

Me: "What would your mum say if you showed her your bucket?"

"She'd go Ughhhh!"

Me: "Remember to wash your hands after you touch the mud! You guys aren't snails!"

"No, we're SNAIL HUNTERS!"

Crystal: "Eva, can I borrow your bike please?"

*Eva shakes her head*

Me: "Oh let her on for a bit. Five minutes?"

*Eva smiles and ignores me. Crystal looks at her for awhile and goes back to playing with the snails.*

"These two are making babies!"

"They haven't gotten off each other since!"

Me: "What... That's crazy... they've had six babies already!"

"Seven!!!"

"Oh please don't have a baby on me..."

"Do you water your flowers?"

Me: "No, we don't. We should though."

"Let me go get some water. We water all our flowers in our garden." 

"What's your name?" 

Me: "Liling." 

"Leeee ling."

I also showed them a little whale I painted on the piece of card which had mine, Georgie's, Abi's and Tegan's names on it. They told me I was quite the artist, but most importantly, that the whale didn't need fins. 

"You can't see them, because they're underwater!" 

That line struck something in me. Then Abi got home halfway, and stood watching them for awhile with me.

"Can you drive?"

Me: "Nope."

"So who in your house can drive?"

Me: "Georgie and Abi."

"So it's just you and Tegan who can't then?"

Me: "Yup." 

"What does Georgie look like?" 

--

I touched snails once. I'd collect water snails that lived in our pond with the little drain fish. Today I looked at the little girls touching and picking the the snails up with mud in their fingernails, and a cookie in the other... and I wanted my childhood days back. But I didn't touch the snails in the end, even though I told the girls to notice how gentle they are. I never used to care about bacteria. So I told them to come back tomorrow to update me on how many more babies Mummy Snail and Daddy Snail had made in total. 

I guess I'm afraid of getting my hands dirty. I shouldn't be.